So… you’re about to start looking for a job, or have you already? Do any of these reasons sound familiar to you?

  • The boss is annoying you
  • Your colleagues don’t appreciate you
  • You’re bored.
  • Someone is picking on you.
  • You dread going there each and every day.

If these do sound familiar to you, I urge you to take a closer look at your situation. Is this the first time that this situation has appeared in your life? If not in your work past, could you extrapolate this situation to your personal life and say, “Ahhh, this sounds familiar”.

For some reading this post this may be a new situation, however it won’t be totally new. It will be part of a pattern, and like all good patterns, they repeat, and repeat, aaaaand repeat.

That is, until you overwrite it with a new pattern.

And that new pattern is, changing your reaction. Changing the way that you do things.

A client of mine, Sam, recently told me about his “ningbat” manager, who had no idea what was going on half the time, didn’t manage staff well, made excuses for mistakes, and didn’t take accountability for things.

I asked Sam questions about his previous role. I asked him why he left his last role. He told me a similar story about his old manager. He was also an “idiot”. He bossed people around, overreacted at the smallest of things, didn’t take accountability for his mistakes and so on so forth.

It was then that Sam had his ephiphany. “Oh my God. This keeps happening to me. I can’t believe it. And it’s not only twice… it’s at every job. Why?”

To which I smiled and asked. “How have you been dealing with it?”

“I usually just keep my mouth shut until I’ve had enough, and then I quit.”

“How do you think you could act that would change the situation for the better, for the both of you?”

“Well, I could have communicated more openly with my managers, and not let it build up to the point that I became resentful. If I had done that, feelings of anger wouldn’t have festered, and we may have had a better working relationship.”

Sam got, that he had been running from the same problem all of his working life. And it kept running after him, and he saw that it was his responsibility to address the situations that bothered him. After all, the reason that the same thing kept happening was because that was HIS pattern. Until he starts to communicate more freely, the same outcome would likely occur with people in his life.

And this wasn’t just happening to him at work. These situations occurred across the board, with family, friends, and with partners.

Take a look at your life and become the observer of your past for a moment. What patterns are repeating? How long has this been happening? What do you need to learn from this situation to stop it from reoccurring? What is your payoff for repeating this situation??(for example, do you deep down enjoy the whinging and whining process).

By observing your mind, you create self-awareness and can take control of the situations in your life that frustrate you, by first changing yourself.

Look within before changing jobs. Your past is a lesson. Don’t ignore it.

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